Parents Association

As parents of a son or daughter in the Greystone program, you are an important member of the Greystone family and therefore, part of the success your student desires to achieve. Rather than playing the role of �Mom� or �Dad�, you must now take on a larger and more complicated role of the �Student Life Support System�. You will soon become the primary lifeline to your student � someone they will talk with over the phone (rather than the boyfriend or girlfriend), someone they will receive mail and packages from (rather than the boyfriend or girlfriend); someone who will send much-needed �spending� money (notice the lack of the �boyfriend� or �girlfriend� thing). You will remain the �Student Life Support System� from this point forward so long as they pursue their college education, therefore you should seek to improve your �support� skills right away.

As a former prep school student myself, I remember my time away from home like it was yesterday, but I also remember the joy and comfort I received from my parents as I went through the academy prep experience. For me, it was the beginning of a new and better relationship with my parents � it was something we shared. As your student progresses toward the academy, this new relationship will bring you closer together. You are a much bigger part of your student's future academic success � the time to get involved is now.

To help facilitate the establishment of the Greystone Parents Organization, the first step is for you to get involved. I expect to hear from you and if I don't, you can expect to hear from me. The second step is to organize. I'll welcome any volunteers for the position of Greystone Parents Organization President, Vice President and Treasurer. Like the request for organization, if I don't hear from you, you can expect to hear from me. I would like this organization to have fun by putting together a �Parent's Weekend� on campus and a Graduation Ceremony to acknowledge the accomplishments of our students. I'm also open to anything else! Let's talk - I look forward to hearing from you all!

While surfing the Schreiner website, I was attracted to their parents section and have �captured� it here for you to read. I feel much of what is written is directly applicable to all Greystone parents as well - enjoy!

From www.schreiner.edu website:

Your daughter or son, along with two million other young adults in the United States , is about to begin an experience that will be both exciting and frightening, a period of joy, discovery and disappointments. These students are beginning an interval of important personal transitions, and you are entering this period with them. You will experience happiness and disappointment as they do. Some hints may help you and your student prepare for what lies ahead.

HINT # 1
Write (even if they don't write back).
Freshmen are typically eager to experience all the away-from-home independence they can in those first few weeks, but most are still anxious for family ties and the security those ties bring. Even though 99% of the freshmen won't admit it, they love news from home, however mundane it may seem to you. There's nothing more depressing than a week of empty mailboxes, but don't expect a reply to every letter you write.

Hint #2
Ask Questions (but not too many).
College freshmen are "cool" (or so they think) and have a tendency to resent interference with their newfound lifestyle, but most desire the assurance of knowing that someone is still interested in them. Feel free to give advice on particular majors but don't insist on your student declaring a major during the freshmen year. The educational system is designed to allow students to explore all sorts of alternatives to a life long plan and career goal. Try for the supportive, relief-giving style rather than the alienating nag effect.

Hint #3
Expect Change (but not too much).
Your student will change (This will happen drastically within the first few months, slowly over four years or somewhere in between.) It's natural, inevitable, and can be inspiring and beautiful. Often it's a pain in the neck! A pre-med major may discover that biology is not his/her thing after all. In addition, it's important to note that the average student changes his or her major at least three times during the four years of college. The main thing is to be patient.

Hint #4
Don't worry about frantic phone calls or letters.
Often, when troubles become too much for a freshman to handle (bad grade, deteriorated relationship, shrunken T-shirt all in one day) the only place to run is home. In such a "crisis�, your student unloads the trouble or tears and returns to the routine, relieved and lightened, while you inherit the burden of worry.

Hint #5
Do not tell them "These are the best years of their lives".
Any parent who believes that all college students get good grades, knows what they want to major in, always have activity-packed weekends, have thousands of close friends and lead worry-free lives is wrong. Parents who perpetuate and insist upon "best year" stereotypes are working against their student's already difficult self-development. Those who accept and understand highs and lows of their student's reality are providing the support and encouragement students need.

Hint #6
Trust them.
Finding oneself is difficult enough without feeling that the people whose opinions you respect most are second-guessing you.

One of the most important things a parent can communicate to a daughter or son might go something like this, "I love you and want for you all the things that make you the happiest, and I guess you, not I, are the one who knows best what those things are�.

Hint #7
Visit (but not too often).
Occasional visits by parents (especially when accompanied by shopping sprees, dinners out, etc.) are another part of first-year events that freshmen are reluctant to admit to liking but appreciate greatly. Pretended disdain of such visits is just another part of the first-year syndrome. Visits give students a chance to introduce some of the important people in both worlds (home and school) to each other. In addition, it's a way for parents to become familiar with (and more understanding of) their son's or daughter's new activities, commitments and friends.

Spontaneous surprise visits are usually not appreciated. Pre-emption of a planned weekend of studying or other activities can have disastrous results. With some notice, you may even enjoy the rare sight of a clean room.

Hint #8
Water what you want to grow.
If your first questions are always about dates, social activities or the score of the recent game rather than about books, ideas, classroom discussions and co-curricular activities (out-of-class lectures, seminars, concerts, intramural activities, etc.), you may send the wrong signal about what is really important at the university.